Imagine what it’s like to feel like you’re the only person on this world. Like everywhere you search all you see is nothing. Imagine walking into your high school and the halls are empty. Nothing but a cold breeze flows in from the windows as you sit in the classroom alone trying to figure out where everyone is. Trying to figure out why you were the only one left there. Just walking around thinking “why am I so alone?” That’s how I felt when I was growing up.
Back in high school, I was dealing with a lot of issues at home. Picture an 11-year-old girl being pushed down stairs, punched, hit, spit on, and yelled at. Being young, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to defend myself. My brother was a 16-year-old boy who was always so aggressive and angry. Like the world had beat him up and tore him down every day. It would scare me when he and I were alone at home because I didn’t know if I was going to get abused for no reason at all. I lived in constant fear of my brother. He was my definition of a monster. I knew if I had told my dad what he would do to me then I wouldn’t be safe the next time we stayed home alone. I kept my mouth shut as if my tongue was chopped off and my mouth was stitched closed. Constantly taking that pain every day tore me down. I felt like I was a piece of trash being crumbled up and thrown on the street. I felt like I had no value to anyone.
Everything just seemed so bottled up inside. Like I was a shaken bottle of Coke and I didn’t know how much I could take before I would explode everywhere. Having all of that anger, hurt and pain was killing me from the inside out. This was the time in my life I felt the loneliest because I didn’t feel like I had anyone to turn to. That was partially my fault because I didn’t trust anyone. I wasn’t always very comfortable sharing my life with everyone. I felt like I was going to be judged or treated differently. People just didn’t seem that...